I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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