it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
