We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
