Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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