Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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