Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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