I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
