I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
tell me about the fingering
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