I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
