If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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