if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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