Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
