jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
