Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
