ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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