sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
