At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
