so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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