I wanna passion pit in your ass
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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