Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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