Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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