you guys were way drunker than both of me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
