brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
