I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
