i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize