How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
