but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
