he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
