My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i think i have two assholes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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