She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
