Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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