note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
