You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
