trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
