I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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