But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
