Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
