and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
