My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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