we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
