I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
