i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Barsexuality is the new black.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
