God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
