I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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