I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
