Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
