omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize