I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
