You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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