Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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