are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to jail i love you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
