Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
