After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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