i permit you to call me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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