she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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