Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize