woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
