So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
