was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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