And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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