and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
COCAINE IS GR8
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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