I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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