did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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