the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
