did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
