marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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