the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
