C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize