I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
