We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i think i just lost a toe
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
