hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm always down for nudity.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
